i am not a real adult.

Single + twenties + steady income = a lethal combination. 
 

However, if the stupidest thing I buy in this phase of my life is a 7ft / 57lb. bean bag... then lets all take a moment to praise God.

With that said, I think I knew this post was going to happen the second I clicked "confirm order" on Amazon.



I ordered a LoveSac.

Since the UPS man was an hour early for the drop off time of said LoveSac, and I missed him... I had to use my lunch break to pick up my purchase at the warehouse location.
The UPS man loaded the box onto a dolly, wheeled it into the parking lot, and accompanied me to discover that the box would not fit inside the door frame of my ford focus.
"Well what exactly is in this box?" he asked.

"Uhm...a beanbag...type...thing..." I said.

"Oh okay, we should just be able to open the box and put it in the car then!"

It is at this moment I immediately grasped the precise physical feeling movies convey when everything slams to slow motion. There was no stopping the impending doom to come.
"N00OOOoooo..."

"Oh, well crap."

*the next 10 minutes consisted of the UPS man and myself shoving a quickly fluffing dura-foam filled suede sack into a compact car before it expanded to an unmanageable size.*

Despite my fear of the growing blob in my back seat, I had to go directly back to work from the UPS store. By the time I got back to my car at the end of the day, the blob's transformation from inconvenient - to impossible - was complete.

I sweat and I prayed as I managed to drive home with a car eating bean bag slowly engulfing me.

unfortunately, this picture IS me.

 

My excitement of making it home alive was quickly diminished when I realized there was no UPS man to help me get the LoveSac OUT of the car.

SIDENOTE: While googling images to explain exactly what a LoveSac is, I found this photo. This tells me I am NOT the only one who was stupid enough to open their LoveSac in the car.

This situation would have sucked less if I too had a Lexus.

 

This photo shows exactly what happened to me.
I carefully developed a system consisting of sitting in the front passenger seat, while propelling myself off the dashboard with my feet, into the LoveSac, slowly shoving it out the back drivers side door.

This is the point when a car full of my neighbors drove by and offered to help.

I handled this confrontation the way any normal human shoving a 7ft bean bag out a ford focus would... I lied.

I laughed and told them my co-workers thought it would be funny to put it in my car (?!) but that they were on their way to come help me. liesliesliesandmorelies

The car shared a laugh in approval of the prank, and drove off.

 

I was alone.

I believe the next event in this saga to be punishment for my prideful perjury.

All excitement of getting the LoveSac of the car and drug to the stairs, was quickly crushed.

This is the photo I showed to my new physical therapist a few days later.

I am not going to attempt to explain how, but I got it up the stairs. It was the best workout of my life. I was smart to take photos. The doctor was not on board with my story when I went in for my prescription of hydros the next day.

The point is, I did it. On my own. Like an idiot.

I am woman, hear me roar?